It’s GOING HOME from hospital day for me today! 🥳 Surgery #3 on the chest area.

The last few days…..let’s assess. 🤓

I have been cared for like a queen whilst I have resided at this lovely hospital and am so grateful for that. 🙏🏻 Amazing place, amazing staff, amazing everything.

Other elements of my 4-5 day stay have been a bit shite…..I won’t lie! Only because ‘Pain’ and ‘Discomfort’ decided to show their faces as if they had these titles etched on their lapels whilst boldly striding into my hospital room, forces to be reckoned with, and stating firmly and loudly “We are in charge these next few days, lady! Don’t get all high and mighty and have your overcoming attitude with us!”

Day 1 – I actually thought, immediately post op, I was The Boss of the Pain and Discomfort. Nothing really hurt. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, but no, that would’ve been the general anaesthetic still running through my veins and because I wasn’t able to move much there was little chance of the pain kicking in anyway! When it wore off…..Jeez Louise! Pain was definitely the Boss of me with a capital B (or is it capital P? D’you know what I mean with this saying? 🤔 Help me out on that one, folks).
Anyway, I knew Pain and Discomfort would turn up at some point but I was naive to the level of their strength. And the sheer and downright rudeness, their bullish attitude when wanting to ‘enter the mix’, shall we say….what a bloody cheek. The audacity of them both….to reduce me to tears on a few occasions! B*stards! Both of them!

So, you know me (#belikeabbie) I had to assure myself that this was all the more reason to find the silver linings. Sometimes it’s necessary to dig really deep and I’m diggin’ very deep at the moment, people. They are always there though if we do our best impersonation of a mole steadfastly burrowing into a hole…..Silver linings and things to be grateful for, are always there. (On that note, is the proper English, ‘things for which to be grateful?’ Sod that, that doesn’t sound right to me so I’m going with my version….’things to be grateful for’. Thank you very much.

Here is my comprehensive list.

1. It’s all over! The surgery is done. I am out the other side. And I have a noob! (New boob! 😁) A real one this time.
2. tummytuck. A rather drastic way to get a tuck of the tummy variety, scoop the fat out from my tummy and put it in my chest area to build a ‘noob’, but happy about the flatter tummy all the same. Saved me having to be flat chested on one side which was the only other option in this scenario. I can’t worry about the new set of scars I’m left with either (a hip-to-hip scar under the knicker line. And more, in different places this time, breast scars). I’m like a patchwork quilt these days. Who cares? I’m still here on this earth. That’s the main thing.
3. Laughter about the ‘tie-up-at-the-back’ hospital gowns. Very practical for the job in hand but, of course, and when not trying to choke me at the top of the gown, it meant my bare (rather flabby) bottom has been on show for all to see! Poor doctors and nurses. 🙈 Ya give up caring about these sorts of things after a while don’t ya? Had the caretaker had had a flash too it wouldn’t have bothered me! All par for the course I feel. 😅
4. Nurses/Carers – you’re all AMAZING! They’ve wiped my a**, put up with the fact that I stench a bit from not showering, had my stinky breath in their face and had my ‘foof’ in their direct eye line! Hats off to you incredible humans! (Family, loved ones, friends at home….if you come bearing grapes, bring nose pegs too. Ya might need them 😝)
5. Time! Time……to do not much. Except rest, read, write my blogs/write parts for the book I’m writing, watch tele, nap, think, be still. Just…..BE.
6. Catheters! Whoever invented them….I bloody love you. Not had one before. Mine was called Cathy. (Not all that original I know! 🙃) Could we choose to have these fitted if we ever get a bit lazy?! 🤔 Can we? 🫣 Rhetorical, that question. I know the answer. Nevertheless, a marvellous invention!
7. Natural Progression!
   Day 1 – Took me 20 minutes and 3 nurses to get up off the bed to a standing position for a few minutes and back down again. Cue lightheadedness, nausea and crying out in agony. They wanted to sit me in a chair. No can do, at that stage. Sorry.
   Day 3 – (once ‘Cathy the catheter’ was out) It took me an hour to do all that and get to the bathroom, do my business, do a bit more business, like washing my face and brushing my teeth, and shuffle back to, and climb back onto, my bed. All the while at least one nurse standing by to aide me.
   Day 4/5 – I was feeling totally SMUG 😌 as it only took me 20 minutes to do the whole of Day 3’s process….ALL BY MYSELF don’t ya know! 😁
8. The fact that I don’t look quite as awful as I did minutes after I came round from my op. (See pic no.1). I would not have blamed Adam one bit if he thought at that point…..”this scary looking, pale-faced, woman is not for me anymore! 😱” But no, he’s still around so he’s, quite obviously, a keeper. 😍
9. Laxatives. No explanation needed.
10. Makeup. Pic 6 I have put a little bit of blusher and mascara on for going home day. Makeup is great for making us look less shit! 😂 Oh how I love it and the very reason I have my own business in skin care and makeup.
11. Last, but by no means least…..my surgeons. Thank you to them. They are both incredible! This procedure happens all the time so it’s no biggie for them. But for me, it’s a new, different and unknown experience. I am so grateful they trained in their specialist field and have amazing skills in oncoplastic surgery.

So, that’s that. WAIT!!!!!

Things you should ignore….the splodge of blueberry compote I spilled on my hospital gown in pic 4!

Things you shouldn’t ignore….’Rosie’, my rose quartz for healing crystal Angel, I am clutching in pics 2 and 3. She kept me safe.

So that’s that now. My last few days in a (not so brief) account. You may be interested to hear about it, you may not, both is absolutely fine with me. 😊

I shall pick up my dignity from the ‘Dignity Box’ at the hospital reception desk which I left there on the way in last Saturday and be on my way. 😁

So, even though the last few days have been incredibly difficult at times, I make it a daily practice, and wherever possible, to look for positive aspects of any given situation, no matter how dire. And also, in my mind, seeing the funny side is essential. If we don’t laugh, we’ll wallow and cry a lot. And that doesn’t help our mental state or the mental state of anyone around us for that matter.

#belikeabbie