The Next Chapter in the life of Abbie’s Boob!

Dear TUMMY FAT,

Thank you for all you have done for me over these past few months BUT in a few weeks, you must go! Goodbye tummy, hello new boob. 👋🏼

It’s true to say, tummy fat, it’s a love/hate relationship we are currently experiencing; you may have felt that vibe. I have become accustomed to you being here in my body but it has to be said, and forgive me for being so blunt, I will NOT miss you!

From your point of view, don’t fear, we still have a few weeks together, you don’t have to make your gory departure just yet but your leaving party has been organised for Saturday 11th January next year. And after that time you’ll be gone, in the situ to which you’ve become accustomed, and magically appear on the right side of my chest. (Wahoo! A ‘real’ boob again!)

I have been growing you, dear tummy fat, for a good few months now and you have appeared, rather predictably, after every mouthful of chocolate, every crisp, biscuit, big wedge of cheese or fizzy cola bottle I’ve shoved into my gob! And even though I have slightly resented you being here (my trousers don’t fit around the waist!) we both know, you have appeared for one good reason….so you could go ‘under the knife’, whilst I am put to sleep, and be distributed somewhere else in my body where you are needed more. So, well done for being so compliant and joining the ‘build up some fat’ party I am hosting.

I just have one question for you though, tummy fat, as I’ve been pondering about this for some time now…..Erm…..why were ‘thigh fat’, ‘bum lard’ and ‘face podge’ invited to the ‘build up some fat’ party? Because I don’t recall sending them an invitation. 🤔 They seem to have gatecrashed and come along ‘for the ride’ anyway! So, I wonder if I could ask you to have a quiet word with all of them please, do your best door-bouncer impression and tell them to ‘GET OUT, PISS OFF!’ They’ve definitely outstayed their welcome! I fear it may take them a good while to ‘Foxtrot Oscar’ though, don’t you?

So, dear tummy fat, you’ve had your few months residency now and as I’ve mentioned, I’ve not really enjoyed your company and not relished you being around my middle but one thing is for sure, looking for those silver linings as I like to do (#belikeabbie 😊), you’ve served your purpose well. And I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart…..you will save me from being flat-chested on one side. Because as you know, ‘fake’ boob #1 was inserted after my cancer-ridden natural one was lopped off. That then ended up having to be surgically removed and replacement ‘fake’ boob #2 took residency. But she has now met the same fate. So, for that reason, I will be truly grateful to you when the time comes for your leaving party in January. You will end up being my saviour. The love/hate scenario explained!

Safe onward journey further north on my body, tummy fat. You’ve served your purpose and it’s soon time to leave.

Adios, my faithful ‘friend/foe’! 🙋‍♀️