Abbie’s Life Rules for Living….I mean REALLY living!

I didn’t die…..YES!

[She says as she punches the air] 

Below are my top tips for living a happy life no matter what you’ve got going on? Why wait? Live it now. #belikeabbie

This may take five or so minutes out of your life to read. Read on if you want to….don’t if you don’t. 

It’s a very surreal feeling to be told you have a life-threatening disease. It doesn’t sink in to start with. It’s not reality, it seems, until you have no choice but to face it. 

Yes it’s true, having cancer has changed me. And I’m not apologetic about it. Correction….it hasn’t changed ME, it’s altered my perception of life. I’m still me. What it has done has woken me up, helped me to see the beauty in life that sometimes is lost in the constant worry. When dealing with a life threatening disease an element of control of how you live your life is taken out of your hands but not how you choose to live it.

I didn’t fear death. I didn’t want it to happen, of course, but I didn’t fear it. When you are faced with the possibility of a life cut short, you see that precious life through different eyes, more appreciative eyes. You stop fretting about the insignificant, meaningless stresses in life and do what you can to make your time on this earth wonderful, harmonious and worthy, minus the shit bits. 

If a similar situation was presented to you, God forbid, wouldn’t you want to enjoy your time here on this earth to the absolute max?

My question to you is this….WHY WAIT? I pray the same doesn’t happen to you. But nevertheless, are you living your best life right now? 

My advice to anyone who wants to live their life to the full as it is NOW, I mean right now, with less worries, it’s simple, do the following:

1). Practice gratitude. Find things to be grateful for in each day. I have a gratitude buddy, two in fact, and we message each other every day with at least four things we are grateful for that happened throughout the previous day. We have been doing this for over 6 years….our gratitude list gets sent to each other every single day, without fail! This has still happened through baby loss, an aeroplane crash, spats with loved ones. Could you find yourself a ‘gratitude buddy’?

2). Appreciate nature. Get outside, fill your lungs with air, come rain or shine. So what if your hair gets wet in the rain. There is always a raincoat with a hood, a hat or an umbrella. As long as you’re prepared, it’s ok. And if you’re not prepared, go with it. What does it really matter? Notice the trees, see the colours of the different flowers. And breathe in deeply. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

3). Don’t stress over the small stuff. So you’ve spilled the cocktail sticks on the floor. Or the full tub of natural yoghurt slips from your hands and splatters everywhere! Or the bag of frozen peas splits and they all fall to the floor rolling about, some ending up under the fridge. You stub your toe or bang your head. It’s not the end of the world. Pick them up, mop it up or rub it better and move on with your day. 

4). Moan less! See the world through forgiving, happy, loving eyes. See other people the same way. The world will give back forgiveness, happiness and love to you in return as will the people in it. So, I repeat….moan less. Plus, it’s far nicer to spend time with people who don’t constantly whinge! 

5). Help others more. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Make a difference. Give of yourself to others. Give your time, your love, your expertise, your shoulder, your care. Be kind and give, give, give. 

Since my breast cancer diagnosis, I have witnessed so much love and care from people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words, cards and gifts. And as for the support I have been given from my loved ones, family, friends and strangers, I will always remember this and will be forever grateful to all of these beautiful people.

6). Why stress over striving for perfection…it’s impossible. If a hair is out of place….sod it. If your tired eyes look puffy, your flabby thighs wobble through your trousers or your stretch-marked tummy stares back at you in the long mirror each morning, accept it and enjoy your day anyway. I guarantee you nobody else sees what you sometimes see in yourself. 

7). Listen to music you love. Lose yourself in the lyrics, the melody. Music is therapy. 

8). Say ‘No’ if you want and don’t feel guilty when you do say no. It’s ok to say you don’t want to do something. 

9). Have the treat. Eat the chocolate brownie, order the pizza, scoff the biscuits, indulge in the extra cupcake. And enjoy every crumb. No guilt. 

10). Love your body, no matter what flaws you think you see in the mirror. Those ‘so called’ flaws are part of you, they make up your character and the right people in your life will love them. If they don’t love them then they’re not the ‘right’ people. So, accept the cellulite on your legs, be ok with the stretch marks you have or, in my case, the one fake boob. Nobody’s perfect…..nobody. Despite what we see in the media sometimes.

11). Be mindful of the fact that your mental and emotional health is so important for emotional stability. Practice mindfulness every day including positive affirmations to yourself. Mental health = how you think. Emotional health = how you feel. Feed your mind with positive energy to achieve more of a balanced life. Think happier thoughts to feel happier. 

12). Worry less about what other people think of you. If you’re essentially good and kind and can rest your head on the pillow at night knowing this fact, that’s all that matters. What people think of you otherwise is their problem, not yours. (Axe murderers reading this, I’m not sure you’d be resting your ‘good’ head but then I can’t imagine this blog is your kind of reading material anyway!!!!)

13). Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with every bit of your soul.

14). Make time for you. Have some alone time, be with your own thoughts. Do what you choose to do, once a day at least. It’s essential. Self care is a must.

15). Sometimes….just stop! Stop in the rat race of life and listen to the birds, feel the rain on your face, hear the sound of running water, stop and appreciate life and all its wonders. Because there are many. Sometimes they are just hidden. 

16). Don’t remain in a scenario that makes you miserable. A job, a dispute….be brave and walk away. Life’s too short to be unhappy in a situation. You do have the power to change it. Have the guts to do something about it. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being anything but content and happy.

17). Love yourself. And I’m not talking in a conceited ‘I love myself and everyone else loves me’ kind of way but in a healthy self respect kind of way. Be brave enough to look in the mirror and love and respect who you see looking back at you. The reflection will then love and respect you back. You are worth it.

18). Make people feel important and special. Imagine an invisible sign around everyone’s neck saying just that, ‘make me feel important’. Elevate others. 

19). Be kind….always. You never know what someone is going through in their own life. 

20). Smile! One of my favourite mottos….‘Smile and the world smiles with you’. Smile at strangers. It may be that they needed to see your smile that day. And they’ll pass it on. And so on and so on. 

Life is an echo, a boomerang…what you give out is what you will get back.

21). Accept the shit bits in your past. “If you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow” (credit: a lyric from a Taylor Swift song). Accept it for what it is, accept what’s happened and move forward, evolving as a person. Live life in the present without worrying about the past or the future. 

22). Realise the power you have to create the life you want. When you realise that you created some of the crap you may be currently experiencing, you understand you have the choice to let it go. You created anger…let the rage go. You created the resentment so you can let it go. You created hatred….release it. You created [fill in the blank]….all you have to do is let it go.

23). Be you. And as long as you are respecting and being kind to others, be ok with being you. It’s ok to be you, everybody else is already taken anyway. The world needs you, know your worth.

24). Don’t let anyone control your thoughts and your life. Have your own say…..always with tact and diplomacy. Be your own person.

So, anyway, there you have it….one cancer survivor’s life advice top tips. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind. 

Living my life over the last few months has been turbulent but I’ve paid attention to how I’ve lived it; the above points I guess I already knew but have been reaffirmed to me and what I have found to be true. 

The thing about life is that it is fragile and unpredictable. It is also precious and each day is a gift.

Appreciate life every day, laugh often. And smile. Be the reason someone smiles today. It really is that simple. Do what makes your heart feel happy.

Life is what you make it. Make it a good’un. You only get one shot at it. 

#belikeabbie

#choosehappy