Inspiration – Abbie’s Boobie Blog

When my sister, Vanessa, and I were growing up, we were lucky enough to have the most wonderful, supportive parents who instilled in us at a very young age to believe that anything is possible if we believe it to be so; that we can achieve anything in life if we just set our minds to it. They always taught us to be kind to others; that if we saw a lady wearing a top we liked and she looked lovely that we shouldn’t be afraid to tell her so; to be happy for someone if they bagged a promotion at work; that if someone cut us up at a junction we should not react with fury but respond with love and acceptance; to smile at strangers, just because…..😊

How lucky are we to have such amazing role models? You never know how your attitude, your words, your smile can make a difference to others, and possibly just when that person needs it most. ‘Paying it forward’ has always been a pleasure to me. And with all of the life lessons mentioned above, it’s stood me in good stead for coming to terms with, and dealing with the biggest blow ever, the greatest life challenge I will ever have to face.

When I was told I had grade 3 breast cancer, I’ll admit it took me a couple of weeks to digest the information, to admit and accept it was happening to me. I spent the best part of two weeks in total denial in my mind, unable to face up to what was actually happening to me, what could happen I guess, and what I would have to go through in the months, maybe years ahead. I spent hours crying at the thought of the long, agonising road ahead of me. The ‘not knowing’, the fear of the unknown, the endless hospital appointments, then the waiting for CT scan results to tell me whether the tumour had spread and was curable or not! (How I slept a wink in those agonising days, I have no clue!)
And then after that period of desperation and being at a loss in life, I cast my mind back to the life lessons bestowed upon me from a young age, and my precious Mum and Dad’s caring, warm and encouraging voices rung in my ears…..’you can overcome anything if you have the ‘want’ and the ‘will’ to do so’.

That’s all it took…..the biggest, yet simplest decision of my whole life was made, it was being presented to me on a plate…..my strength of mind was being tested….my mind was made up….I will survive this! No question! No doubt, an unwavering belief that I would absolutely and categorically live through this disease. My focus was to get through this difficult period in my life that was being launched at me, dropped on me from a great height. To me, it was simple! I’d achieved a lot in my life, and brought a lot of positives into my life, just through, what I believe to be, the power of intention, the power of thought, and pure belief. This life-threatening situation was to be my biggest test yet!

Many people have been so forthcoming and kind in saying that they find my attitude towards my cancer diagnosis inspiring and uplifting. I’m still floored, in a good way, by the hundreds of messages I’ve received from people showing their support, care and love and that will stay with me until my dying days (which is not yet!)

But, you see, I don’t necessarily see myself as inspiring, I see it as a choice. It was no big decision to be this way, to think like this, it just happened and it was simple to me. I chose to use my powerful mind, which is far more equipped than any computer, to overcome the physical ailment in my body. And I know I’m not free of cancer yet….oh, but I will be. What other option is there? Why would I lie down and decide that this is my lot, that it’s ‘curtains’ for me? I’m too young. Mid 40’s is no age to die!

It’s true, life throws up the unexpected at times. These days I just keep pushing on, believing in the possible not the impossible! I realised, when I needed to realise it most, that I AM made of strong stuff. And it’s only when you have ‘strong stuff’ to deal with that it’s brought right to the forefront of your mind. And I wouldn’t have been dealt this hand if I wasn’t able to cope with it. I truly believe that.

The main aim of my ‘Boobie blog’, apart from the fact that I am finding it truly stress releasing and cathartic, is to help other people, like my lovely parents taught me, with a mindset change. And to help others believe in their ability to overcome absolutely anything with the right attitude. We have the power within us; we sometimes don’t see that because we’ve never had the experience before. I don’t wish you this experience but practice now, be mindful now, whatever challenges you are facing.

A dear friend, a few years ago, once said to her husband that she had been ‘Abbie-fied’ after spending some time with me, chatting about all things to do with the ‘power of the mind’ and on the subject of ‘to visualise is to materialise’. To this day, that is one of the biggest compliments anyone has ever given to me.

In the hope that I can make a difference to just one person, maybe more than just one, the following heart-warming story is why I want to share what works for me, why I am constantly putting myself out there, why, if more of us adopt a more overcoming attitude in life, we will have the belief that absolutely anything is possible.

I see ‘Impossible’ as ‘I’m Possible’. What about you?

#belikeabbie

My wish is that…..’If I’m the boy, YOU will be a starfish’.

I believe I’m right in saying that you never know whether a subscription to a magazine or membership fee to a club is going to be worth the dosh you shell out until you’ve experienced what the magazine or club is like and has to offer, whether the information provided is helpful, whether the facts given will enhance your knowledge about the subject in question, whether it’s an enjoyable experience.

Well….let me tell you, the membership fee to the ‘Cancer Club’, when you first subscribe, is so not worth it! Don’t sign up if you don’t have to. I wouldn’t bother. A waste of your hard-earned money. What a load of tosh!

That was my first thought; there is a BUT……..
What I can tell you IS well worth it, is the experience you will gain from joining the ‘Cancer Club’. That is worth its weight in gold. So you have the hypothetical ‘empty purse’ issue which may leave a bitter taste in your mouth but revel in the fact that your mindset, therefore your life, may very well change….for the better!

But first, on becoming a valued member, do be prepared that initially you may cry….A LOT. And it’ll be that god awful, ugly crying that even the most beautiful of people can be made to look really unattractive doing, with snot pouring out of your nose and down your face. This may last a good while along with downright denial of the fact that you’ve joined The C Club. You’re an ‘honorary’ member, like so many people before you but, yes, it’s a bit sh*t to be standing at the doorway waiting to be welcomed in with sodding open arms! I can think of slightly more enjoyable, happier clubs of which I’d rather be an ‘honorary’ member.

When all the crying is done, after the 20 empty packs of tissues you’ve thrown in the bin have stopped overflowing and been discarded, the shouting and screaming ‘why me, Cancer you b*stard?!’, oh….and the disgusting expletives you find leaving your mouth. When all that is done and, in my case, wondering whether you’ll live to see your five-year-old son’s next birthday, it’ll be time to phone your loved ones with the news of your new club membership. And repeat the process above time and time again whilst you deliver the news to each and every one of them.

And then my next suggestion is to set up a What’s App support group, like mine, ‘Abbie’s Boob Love Army’, to inform your nearest and dearest all at one time, for ease, of the whole process, what’s going on with your many scheduled hospital appointments and scans, and that each time you need a ‘pick me up’ you’d like them to send you memes that will have you in fits of uncontrollable laughter or the amusing inappropriate willy jokes!! Anything that will make you laugh rather than do the ugly sob.

Search for those silver linings I keep talking about….and why the hell not use the ‘cancer card’ you’ve been dealt? Accept the meals offered from well-wishers, see if you can wangle a better table in that restaurant. Accept gracefully those ‘you’ve got cancer and I feel sorry for you’ cards and gifts. (On a serious note, at this point, let me say, never in my life have I witnessed such love, care and generosity from my family, friends, loved ones and well-wishers. It’s heart-warming and I will always remember the kindness for decades to come).

Next on the list, well….next on MY list was to spend a sh*t load of money on clothes from online companies. (Hell, you’re not going out much, because you can’t due to the low immunity situation). And don’t do what I did and order from those overseas clothes companies! I learnt my stupid lesson because the fees are so ridiculously high to bother returning anything you no longer want, or need, or that may be slightly too tight round your thighs; in my case, the wobble I’ve never quite managed to lose since my FOUR knee operations in my 20s. That’ll teach me for being a dancer in my early years.

But, oh how I love to shop online!!

All the while, casting your mind back to your teenage years……do you think I sat in Business Studies class at school and when asked by the teacher…‘so, Abigail….. (my full name that only my sister ever uses now, that’s if she’s not using my nickname of Fanny)…..what would you like to become when you’re older, where do see yourself in 30 years time?’, proudly say with guts, grit and outright knowingness, ‘I’ve got it all worked out sir, I am going to be a proud member of the ‘Cancer Club’. I’ll work hard to get there and love every minute of the journey getting there and feel total euphoria at reaching my intended goal. It will be an honour and a privilege I will look back on my achievement with fondness knowing I put my all into it.’

Did I hell?!! Funny, but it’s never been an aspiration of mine. I, like you, I’m sure, used to see people walking around wearing a head-wrap and think to myself ‘oh gosh, I wonder if, under that head garment, there’s a bald head due to having cancer, and they have had to ‘brave the shave’ or lost it naturally eventually?’ and instantly feel for them, send them a virtual hug of care and compassion knowing that what they’re going through must be totally crap and hard going, only to be in that very same position myself years later thinking ‘this wasn’t in my mapped out life plan!’

Only then, when you’ve sat there, pensively, asking the ‘Why me? F*** off Cancer, who invited you anyway?’ question umpteen times, can your fighting spirit kick in. And let me tell you, you’d better have that attitude of ‘nothing is gonna take me down without my permission’ because, my word, does that help. There’s no other option, people. That’s when the membership to this new ‘club’ you have found yourself in shows its worth.

So, going back to the experience, you’ll gain from it. THAT’s the key message here. If you have to spend your ‘hard-earned cash’, hypothetically speaking, on being a member of the ‘Cancer Club’, make sure the experience you have teaches you something about yourself. Teaches you that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. It’ll make you feel like the most badass person alive, the euphoria will be life changing.

So those are my wise words! Steer clear of this membership if you’ve got any goddamned sense in the first place. It ain’t worth ‘splashing the cash!’

If you do find yourself in this position, and I truly hope you don’t, but IF you do…..#belikeabbie and live in a blissful state of mind rather than blaming the cancer from landing in your lap. Perhaps even love it for showing up to teach you some valuable life lessons. It WILL transform your view of it.

Want to learn how I did it? How I went from a ‘Blaming’ mentality to a ‘Blissful’ state, go here……www.vanessaloves.life
and book yourself on to this zoom workshop. It’ll be the answer, the best decision you’ll ever make, not just for those people wanting to adopt an overcoming attitude to cancer but to EVERYTHING unwanted in life that smacks you in the face without you ‘placing the order’ for it. Or if you just need to know how to live a more blissful, happier existence…..a more fulfilled life.

Trust me on this and Trust Vanessa too…..it’s MAGIC!

M – Make
A – A
G – Great
I – Inspired
C – Choice

And THAT is how I did it, that’s how I roll, this is what has helped me adopt this ‘don’t mess with me Cancer! You will NOT beat me I can assure you’ attitude.

#belikeabbie

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