TGFC – Thank Goodness For Cancer.
It’s a strange feeling to be happy about something so grave and serious but, in the same breath, feels totally euphoric.
Many people have said they are in awe of my upbeat attitude towards the fact that I’ve got nasty, unwanted cancerous cells residing in my body, in my right boob to be precise! For me, there was no huge decision made in my mind to be this way. No working hard to have this attitude of pure will and fight. It just happened. I’m not special or unique. I’m just me, Abbie, a simple human being who believes that the right mindset is EVERYTHING. Full stop! Everyone can adopt this mindset when it comes to challenges in life, whatever they may be. It comes back to perspective again, as explained in my first blog. There’s nothing that can take you down without your permission.
The truth is I’ve never felt better! My skin has never looked and felt better (although slightly dry from the chemotherapy drugs, so I’m using moisture renewing face creams). My eyes haven’t sparkled so much in ages, my smile is still there when I look in the mirror at my currently bald head. Less hair = less cancer, right? My features are more defined without hair. In actual fact, my eyes look larger and my cheekbones are stronger.
So there is every reason to be happy. Thank you, Cancer!
The fact is nothing has changed to my physical body since being diagnosed with breast cancer, apart from the hair loss obviously, and nothing has changed to my face. What HAS changed is my attitude.
When the chips are down I believe one comes into their own. Well, that may not be the case with everyone; it certainly is with me. I’m not broken, my body is not broken. In my mind, I am already healed. Time to be bold and say….
#belikeabbie
So let’s turn things around, shall we? Turn this particular ugly scenario on its head. Let’s look at the facts here….find those silver linings of being diagnosed with cancer. There’s a loooong list:
- I’ve lost some weight through the initial stress and worry…hurrah! I was stuck in a rut and finding it hard to lose my ‘baby weight’. My son is now 5 years old! And I am now 5 lbs lighter than when I fell pregnant with him. I’ve lost a stone in 5 months….result!
- I’m changing my attitude towards my diet. Green leafy vegetables, berries, more ‘as it grows’ foods now on my plate.
- I am drinking much more water than I used to. (although visiting the toilet more at night!!!)
- I’m not drinking as much alcohol. I just don’t feel it’s the right thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do have the odd red wine or gin and ginger ale (my tipples) but all in moderation and in the main, I’m staying off the booze.
- The beautiful cards and gifts I have received from well-wishers. I have been inundated with so many beautiful cards, flowers and gifts, some handmade. People are so thoughtful.
- I’m getting used to receiving, which is strangely difficult for me. I’m more comfortable giving to others.
- I have created this new blog which I am finding so cathartic to write, and I truly hope inspires others.
- It’s an aggressive grade 3 type of tumour, so those types tend to shrink quicker with treatment, so I’m told. Hurrah!
- I’m walking more. Not much else to do in Lockdown anyway is there?! So, I’m keeping really active if my body allows.
- I don’t have to shave my armpits or my legs!! Another job I now don’t need to think about. Hair loss hasn’t just gone from my head!
- I have no hair, a bald head, so my eyes seem much bigger. I have always wished I had bigger eyes.
- With no hair, there’s no need for haircuts and hair dyeing, so I’m saving money.
- No expensive hair products being used.
- No styling of hair. This would usually take 20 minutes each time if I was to properly blow dry and style it as I had HUGE hair if left to dry naturally.
- When I did still have hair, it was the kind of hair that went CRAZY in any moisture in the air… ‘IT’s THE HUMIDITY!!’ as quoted by Monica in Friends. I lived my life around a blow dry! I was advised not to use heat on my hair to try and save it, so I learned how to leave it to dry naturally and still have it looking in a reasonable state.
- Getting ready in the mornings is so much quicker…..bonus!
- With no hair I can notice my jawline and defined cheekbones a lot more.
- I’ve brushed up on my makeup skills.
- My little boy is showing his adorably empathetic side… “I’ll look after you Mummy. I’m going to take care of you. Your Boobie is all better now.” Kids make it all so simple and it is quite simple really….take the ‘complicated’ out of one’s life. Live life with childlike worries in that they have none! We complicate it, we make our own lives stressful. He’s taught me that and so much more.
- The cancer and my health has encouraged me to get into meditations run by my sister, which has given me a renewed sense of calm.
- My amazing support network has come forward and been totally phenomenal.
- I have noticed more kindness in people.
- My mindset has become more focused with my attitude and my strength of mind.
- I’ve raised a good amount of money for a worthy cause through my ‘brave the shave’ video.
- I’m saving money as I’m not going out to shops (not that shops are open anyway during Lockdown!)
- Covid-19 is sticking around, so I don’t have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). None of my friends can go out and socialise as the pubs/restaurants are closed so if there’s a good time to get a critical illness, NOW is the perfect time, no FOMO here!
- I’ve decided that it’s time to really take care of my body more.
So, you see, I have a lot to be grateful for with this Cancer…..Thank you, Cancer!
Being in this mindset is simply a choice. Once in this mindset it doesn’t mean I’m always in a blissful state, but I know what it FEELS like to be there, so I CHOOSE to go back there when I veer off course.
Darkness has found its way into my body in the form of cancerous cells, but darkness can’t reside where light is present. I give light to my body. In my mind, the cancer cells are black, and I have little piranhas, in the form of a white light, eating away at them. Be gone with you!
I am one of the world’s greatest gifts as a human being, just as I am, and SO ARE YOU!!!! All readers….SO ARE YOU! YOU are the world’s greatest gift….just as you are.
So controversially, some might say, I feel so happy to have cancer! It has given me a new lease of life. A happy, calm and peaceful, yet focused mind, to navigate my way through life and the challenges it decides to throw at me.
#belikeabbie
Abbie’s Boobie Blog 