So far ….
For those of you who know anything about chemotherapy drugs, I am undergoing a course of treatment which consists of six rounds of what’s known as FEC-T. Three rounds of the FEC part followed by three rounds of the T part.
I’ve already undergone the three rounds of the combination of FEC drugs. F – Fluorouracil, E – Epirubicin (the one that’s red in colour, makes your urine red (!!!) and is the drug which causes the hair loss. Crikey….if I hadn’t have been warned about the red coloured wee that would’ve scared the hell out of me thinking I was pee’ing blood as a friend of mine did when it happened to her!) and C – Cyclophosphamide. I began this course of the ‘FEC’ drugs on Friday 18th December (I’m not sure I’ll ever forget that date and Merry bloody Christmas to me!) And I am due to start three rounds of the ‘T’ drug, which is called Docetaxel, on Friday 19th February.
I have the chemo treatment once every three weeks, six times over. The first week after chemo my immune system is ‘on the floor’, the second week, slightly better, I’m told, and by the third week, I was informed that my immune system should be pretty much back up to its normal state. To then have to repeat the process all over again for another round of the chemo. This should take me to the beginning of April when I can ring the ‘end of chemo’ bell!
Some people, on the breast cancer support forums I’m part of, have said about the FEC part of the treatment ‘thank goodness it’s over, it’s been awful!’. That’s not been my experience. Granted I’ve yet to step over the threshold into the ‘Docetaxel party zone’ and having read up on the side effects of this drug, I can’t say I’m looking forward to walking through the doors to that party but hey….in my mind and as I say to myself often ….”I DEFY THE ODDS and FEEL AMAZING!!”
Anyway, back to the point. In the main, on the FEC drugs, I’ve felt fantastic. Ok, so I haven’t felt too bright on the day of the chemo itself but, let’s face it, that’s to be expected. I tend to have my chemo at 9am in the morning and have been tired and nauseous that evening and the next day I’ve felt pretty lethargic. Except after chemo#2 actually when I was violently sick 7 times that evening and through the night, into the morning. And I’ve had other usual side effects – mouth sores, achy limbs, tingling in my hands and feet (called peripheral nerve damage). I’ve sometimes had trouble thinking clearly and concentrating. Apparently this is an actual ‘thing’ and often called “chemo brain.” I’ve also experienced what’s known as phlebitis. This is where the intravenous needle can cause the vein to become inflamed, the area around the insertion site or along the vein can become red, warm, tender or painful and swollen. Lifting things can sometimes be a struggle and on chemo#3 I asked the nurse if she’d switch arms into where the needle was usually inserted to give my left hand and arm a break.
I’ve coped with all of these side effects pretty well, I’d say, and in between times I can honestly say I’ve felt positively spritely. Probably annoyingly so! I’ve mostly been chirpy, full of vitality, full of energy, adopted a determined attitude. I’ve done the school run every day, twice a day, I’ve been walking 4-5 miles, 4-5 times a week. In addition, I feel my skin is glowing, my weight has remained the same even though I’ve been given steroids, my nails feel so strong. My hair is…..oh hold on….gone!! So I can’t say that the quality of my hair is silky, smooth, shiny, luscious!!! Minor problem in the grand scheme of things….. Like I said before, less hair = less cancer! Hoorah!
So, lovely readers, do you want to know why, in my opinion, I’ve never felt better when essentially there is poison floating around my body and through my veins? Here’s why…….the simple fact is, my ATTITUDE! My attitude is in the right place. My focus is on abundance not lack, love not hate, wellness rather than illness. In my mind I am already healed.
BELIEF ITSELF SHIFTS BIOLOGY!
Talking about BELIEF. I do love an acronym so, in my mind, I see belief as:
B – Bring
E – Eternal
L – Love
I – Inner-peace
E – Eases
F – Fear
The reality you experience in life is how you see a situation, how you cope with that situation, how you see your life going, what you see in others, what you see in yourself in the mirror. So, how I see myself is who I am. If I see ‘a Cancer patient who is struggling’ that’s exactly what will reflect back at me. Instead, I see someone who is coping really rather well and that’s precisely what is happening, exactly what I am experiencing. Think of it like an echo….what you shout out in a tunnel is what you hear coming back at you. Or a boomerang, when you throw a boomerang, it eventually returns to you. LIFE is like an echo. Your experience in life is that boomerang. What you send out comes back.
I have never wanted to ‘look’ like a cancer patient so all the above was, quite frankly, all part of my plan. Apart from the bald head which is probably a give away for having cancer but hey, Sinead O’Connor chose that look. If it’s good enough for Sinead it’s good enough for me.
#belikeabbie
Abbie’s Boobie Blog 